Meltdowns vs. Tantrums: What’s the Difference, and How Can Play Therapy Help?

As a parent, it can be hard to know what’s going on when your child is overwhelmed. Are they
having a tantrum—or is it something deeper, like a meltdown? Understanding the difference can
help you respond with more clarity and compassion—and play therapy can support your child in
learning to manage those big feelings over time.

Tantrums are often goal-driven. They may happen when a child is told “no,” doesn’t get what
they want, or is trying to test boundaries. In a tantrum, a child still has some degree of control
and may pause to see how you’re reacting. Tantrums tend to decrease as children develop
stronger communication and coping skills.

Meltdowns, on the other hand, are not about manipulation or control—they’re about overload. A
meltdown happens when a child’s nervous system becomes overwhelmed. This might be
triggered by sensory input, transitions, fatigue, or strong emotions that the child doesn’t yet have
the tools to regulate. During a meltdown, the child is not in control. They are in distress and need
co-regulation and safety, not discipline.

Play therapy can help with both. Through child-led play, children begin to explore emotions in a
way that feels safe and manageable. They learn to express their feelings, test limits, and develop
more flexible coping strategies—all within a relationship built on trust and consistency.

In play therapy, the therapist responds with calm, empathy, and clear boundaries, which helps
children feel contained and understood. Over time, this co-regulation builds the foundation for
self-regulation. Children also begin to internalize that their big feelings aren’t “bad”—they’re
part of being human, and they can be handled safely.

Whether your child struggles with tantrums, meltdowns, or both, play therapy offers a supportive
space where they can grow the skills and confidence to handle overwhelming moments—and
where you can feel more supported, too.