When many people think of social skills, they picture conversations, eye contact, and playing with friends. But for autistic children, connection doesn’t always look like traditional back-and- forth talking. Socialization can take many forms—and it’s important for parents and caregivers to recognize and celebrate the different ways autistic kids connect.
Some autistic children may be nonverbal or use few words, while others may talk a lot but find typical conversation patterns difficult. This doesn’t mean they don’t want connection—it just means their way of connecting looks different. Communication can happen through gestures, shared activities, parallel play, body language, or even simply being present with someone they
trust.
When we broaden our definition of socialization, we open the door to seeing the rich ways autistic children express care, interest, and belonging. For example, an autistic child might show connection by lining up toys alongside a parent, sitting close on the couch, or repeating a favorite story as a way of sharing. These are valid and meaningful forms of interaction, even if they don’t fit society’s narrow view of what being “social” should look like.
✅ Ways to Support Connection Beyond Talking:
- Meet them where they are. Join in on their preferred activity, even if it’s quiet or
repetitive. - Use alternative communication. Respect AAC devices, sign language, or gestures as
equally valid forms of expression. - Value parallel play. Being side-by-side, even without words, can still build closeness.
- Notice small bids for connection. A glance, a shared smile, or bringing you a toy are all
ways your child is reaching out. - Drop the pressure. Pushing for “typical” social skills can create stress; instead, focus on
fostering comfort and authentic connection.
Connection for autistic kids doesn’t need to be forced into a mold of constant talking or eye contact. By recognizing and affirming their unique ways of socializing, you show your child that who they are is enough. True connection is about being present, not about fitting someone else’s definition of “social.”